Pure Crack
by Mab
Jack Harkness pounded down the streets of, what did they call this place? - Ankh-Morpork? and swore that next time he was going to thoroughly check out the credentials of aliens selling interesting technology. This was not the destination he'd had planned. No sir, not at all. On the other hand, the friend he'd picked up along the way sure was useful. Naked, except for the eye-patch, but one hell of a scrapper; not handsome precisely, not with the missing eye and all those scars but certainly impressive if you were the sort to be impressed by naked piratical types who went into battle with a blood-curdling scream of rage. Jack was always open to new experiences.
The two of them ducked down an alleyway, and Jack grabbed at his companion's shoulder. Great muscles. "Are they still following us?" Naked piratical guy stopped short, and made every appearance of listening very hard indeed. "Noowwrrr," he rumbled, "gone the other way." Then he patted lightly at Jack's hair. "Shiny."
"Yeah, I think you're cute, too, big guy, but where do we go from here?" Cogitation, Jack noted, didn't come easily to his new friend. That was okay, Jack could supply brain-power. Then light dawned across the rugged face,
"Gooo see Nanny."
The only nannies that Jack knew tended to be of the naughty variety, but this guy clearly knew his way around the territory, and Jack needed a trusty native guide. "Okay, lead on. But first, you might want to borrow my coat. Not that you don't have some gorgeous attributes there, but..."
Naked guy nodded sadly, as he shrugged into the coat. "Humans," he pronounced with irritated confusion, "are strange."
"No more than everybody else, my friend," Jack replied. "Trust me on this."
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